I am sorry!!!

Dear folks:

I have been away on vacation for a week, and therefore unable to get on a computer.

And then my copy of Game of Thrones was ruthlessly borrowed by a friend who "isn't into super-slow reading masochism".

So I have not stopped.  Project = not abandoned.  I just have hit a snag while I wait for the library wait list to go down so reading can resume.

It takes FOREVER.

Anyhow, I am sorry.  Forgive me.  I will return.

Eddard

So now we meet Lannisters and a King.  Not sure I like either.

I do like Ned, but Robert seems a self-centered, blustery sort of man who is far too used to getting his own way.  It was sad hearing the contrast between Robert as this fierce warrior that Ned had been happy to serve and Robert as a king who does nothing and cares about nothing but satisfying his own appetites.  Some people just do not make good leaders.

This guy comes to mind...

So, right as the royal group gets to Winterfell, Robert wants to go down into the family tomb to visit Ned's sister.  Who is dead.  Who was engaged to him.  Who is apparently THE WOMAN THAT RHAEGAR TARGARYAN LOVED AND DIED FOR.  What?  What?  WHAT???

This seems to me like one of those times where what we have here is a FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE.  Also, what did Lyanna want?  Did anyone think to ask her at the time?  No?  Fine, ignore the woman.

Even I think you guys should have talked this out...

Actually, still on the Lyanna subject, is it sweet that Robert still remembers and misses Ned's sister?  It's hard for me to tell if he actually loved her or if he just could not stand to be denied something that he wanted.  It sounds from this like he knew her well and genuinely cares for her, but would he have cared for her still if she had lived and been his wife for all these years?  Is he just idealizing this affection or love or whatever that he felt for her because he knows he can never have her so reality can't taint his image of her?  I don't know. Also, I seem to be a pessimist because that is kind of really cynical of me.  O well.

Up until this point, I didn't realize how much of Ned's family has been killed.  In the one war, he lost his brother, his sister, and his father.  That's pretty damn rough.  I mean, I know the Starks are already pretty serious and somber, but damn.

 Ned smites sadness when it approaches.

It could interfere with his serious face.

Anyhow...this chapter enters more into the politics and reputations of some houses, and to be honest, it's a little confusing to get through all of these allusions to people's background without actually knowing the story..  Ned seems to really hate the Lannisters, so that makes me wary of them on principle.  And I see why Ned's all upset about his nephew not being the Warden of the East, losing the title, or whatever, but I've never been able to support the idea of people getting titles just because they were lucky enough to be born into the right family, in the right order.  I understand that there seems to be tradition and such behind this, but I can't help my (probably very American) opinion that people should earn what they get.  Why would you make a six-year-old kid a war leader?  That's silly, Ned.  And you are not a silly man.

And then Robert wants to make Ned the Hand of the King.

 The king can't administer all those slaps by himself.

I do not blame Ned at all for not wanting it.  It would force him to leave the land he loves and his family to travel south to a land that is nothing but the fake, overwhelming manners of court and high society, where you can never be sure if someone is your friend or enemy and where friends become enemies the second anyone more powerful starts to dislike you.

Just thinking about having to navigate a social situation that complex makes my head hurt.  And offending the wrong person could mean loss of things you love.  Or death.

O, and the eleven-year-old girl and thirteen-year-old prince are now engaged.  Surprise!

Sweet Lord, this bites.

Daenerys

I know this sounds harsh and callous and all, but I am going to need Daenerys to suck it up a little.

I get that her life has been tough.  Family dead, only surviving relative a psychotic, raging asshole of a brother acting out because of his own insecurities about his ability to live up to his own delusions of grandeur (and with a little incestuous subtext thrown in!  Huzzah!), living far from home, blah, blah, blah.  But one of the first sentences I read about her is that after she touches the cloth of a new gown, "She could not remember ever wearing anything so soft.  It frightened her."

Nice fabric frightens you?  Stop that.

This = not frightening

 

It's not that I dislike her.  In a lot of ways, I feel bad for her.  She is in a situation where she has no power at all, raised alone by a tyrannical, power-hungry sibling, and she is only thirteen.  I don't care what realm or world or whatever you grow up in, that age is rough.  And I know that growing up in an abusive situation often makes people incredible fearful and on-edge and makes it hard for them to form their own identity.

But, seriously, fabric?  I will cut you slack on other things, but not that.  And I pray that you develop to the point that you can tell your asshole brother where he can shove his kingdom-ruling aspirations.

This needs to happen to him.

This chapter did bring up something interesting to me, though.  I love when books discuss that same event from different perspectives because THINGS ARE NEVER JUST BLACK AND WHITE.  This defeat of the Targaryen king and his family is not some noble defeat against a tyrant to these two.  This was the murder of their entire family and it came when they were too young to possibly be able to say if the king was actually a good or bad one.  They just know that their family and homeland was taken away.  I think the homeland thing should affect Daenerys less because she never knew her "homeland", but Viserys takes it pretty hard.  Of course, he also takes it with a strong sense of entitlement and condescension to everyone around him.  I like how even GRRM treats him as ridiculous when he says things like "I shall kill the Usurper myself," he promised, who had never killed anyone, "as he killed my brother Rhaegar.  And Lannister too, the Kingslayer, for what he did to my father."

Boy, please.  If you're going to talk big, back it up a little.  Also, to them, their brother died "protecting the woman he loved."  If this is actually true, king Robert was a dick for going after these people's families.  Well, actually, he obviously did that because EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD INCLUDING THE BABY RIPPED FROM ITS MOTHER.  Ned, I am disappointed that you were part of that.  Displeased.

This chapter also brings up the fabulous idea of women being possessions that can be traded and sold and bartered and given away but have absolutely no say in what happens with their own lives.  I would like to clarify:  I don't hate that GRRM used this in his book because that happened for years and years and still happens in different places around the world.  I actually appreciate that it is something he brings up in his books so it can be discussed.  I am saying I hate that this happens.  I hate that intelligent people went along with this idea and I hate that many people today still think of women as being lesser humans or lesser people, meant to be subservient.  It completely makes my skin crawl how this girl's brother is assessing her body to see if his plan to sell her will succeed, seeing if she is a good "product".

 Even little beibs is upset by you, sir.  Or, "ser".

Creeper asshole.

Now, seeing the huge, terrifying stranger that she is about to be given to?  That is an acceptable time to be afraid, Daenerys.  I am totally with you there.  I would have been scared out of my mind at that age.  Hell, I would be scared now and I'm twenty-three.

Poor thing.  I hope you become more badass.

Catelyn

GRRM is dropping so many hints and I am powerless to pick them up right now.

This is irksome.

Palin is irked.  But probably not for the same reason.

Now, this may be a little too much about me and my relation to characters, but the whole first part of this chapter is about Catelyn and how she does not like the quiet seriousness of the northern godswood.  Her godswood (or religious experience, I am going to say) was very light and joyful and involved music and beauty and other people in a building set aside just for worship.

I grew up very familiar with religion.  My parents are Christian and my sisters and I were all raised Christian, but we shifted churches a lot.  Thanks to that (seriously, I am very thankful for that), I have had a whole myriad of different religious experiences within this one religion.  I have been in churches that are silent and solemn and are built to inspire awe and serious reflection.  I have been in churches made to be homey and warm and casual.  I have been in churches that are bright and exuberant and...well, kind of over-the-top.  I have been in churches that hit close to every experience you can think of.  There were good and bad things about each one, but I ended up liking things like the northern godswood.  I like quiet and solitude and reflection.  The wild, dark, stark (well, the word fits) northern godswood appeals to me.  Maybe it's just how I am, maybe it's because I was always a fairly serious kid, I don't know.  I'm just saying.

I also have to say that I love this picture of the north that is slowly growing.  I grew up in Montana and it suited me.  I never wanted to escape to a warmer climate or avoid the winters.  I loved the rainy, thunder-storm-filled days and sharp, windy days.  I loved all the days where the whole world was cloudy and grey and the snow cast everything into harsh black-and-white.  I would pick cold over heat pretty much every time.  I don't hate sunshine or anything, I just like cold, brisk weather.  I went to visit my friend in Texas a month or so ago and was dying.  It was in the eighties and nineties and that ISN'T EVEN THAT HOT FOR TEXAS.  I could not survive there.  Seriously.  I would melt.  Or burn all my skin off.

I'm pale, in case you didn't know.

Pale like this.

Anyway, the whole point of that lengthy and self-absorbed exposition is to say that I think I would like the north.  And I really like the intense, serious, TOTALLY PREPARED people that live there.  The Stark motto is "Winter is coming"?  Hell yes.

Ok, enough Stark-gushing.  Moving on.

I know this is random, but there was a throwaway line about green men on the Isle of Faces.  I want this explored, please.  Curiosity: aroused.

I like Ned and I like that he obviously cares a lot for his family (his first question to his wife is "where are the children"), but dude.  Your youngest child is three and slightly nervous about a wolf he was just given to raise.  I have little recent experience with children (largely because I avoid them), but I feel like three is young.  Quite young.  Aren't kids still learning complete sentences and such at that age?  I know your land is harsh and serious and intense and all, but HE IS THREE.  Cut the kid some slack.

This is a three-year-old.  Give him a break.

So we learn here that the night watch is losing people rapidly, both to death and desertion.  This is foreboding.  For real.  Also, there's a King-beyond-the-Wall?  Is that who Mance Rayder is?  Answer things for me soon, GRRM.  Please.

Please don't ignore this Others-talk, Ned.  Bad things are happening.  And those things are terrifying.

We learn that Jon Arryn, Ned's sort of adopted-father is dead.  Who was married to Catelyn's sister.  This is depressing, but is lightened pretty quickly as Ned finds out King Robert is coming and actually smiles.  NED IS CAPABLE OF SMILING!!!  This makes me happy.

Catelyn is nervous because of the dead direwolf with the horn in its throat.  I get that their sign is the direwolf, so is someone's sign the deer?  Are they going to get killed by the deer-family?  I don't know.  But the king is coming with over a hundred people (keep things intimate there, Robert) and this includes the queen's family who Ned is not fond of.  Apparently the queen is "proud".  I am guessing this is code for "bitch".

Conflict time!

Bran

Folks, we have my first favorite character.


Jon Snow appears to be a stone-cold badass.  GRRM, please do not set out to prove my first impression wrong.

In this chapter we are introduced to several new characters and get some first impressions.  We also find out what happened with Gared, the other rider from the group of death.  Apparently he got away, but he was so terrified that he left and is being punished for deserting.  O, and the punishment for deserting is that this guy is GETTING HIS HEAD TAKEN OFF.

Like this, but not a chicken

I am guessing there are very few second offenses.

Anyway, this chapter is told from Bran's point of view and through him, we meet Lord Eddard Stark, Jon Snow, Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark, and Jory Cassel.  Bran is going out with these men to witness the execution, a sort of coming-of-age thing.  I mean, I get it, but damn, child.

During the execution, Jon encourages Bran and helps him while Theon is a dick and kicks the head after it rolls.  Charming.  It's possible he's not actually that bad, but he is described as Lord Stark's nineteen-year-old ward who finds everything amusing and I don't do well with people incapable of being serious.  Also, Jon is only fourteen?  Really?  I guess in a land and a culture that harsh, people grow up quickly.

Hopefully not this quickly.

Jon is described...well, pretty much as being really intense, but I am ok with that.  As a bastard, the kid has a tough life.  He is damn observant too.  He saw the terror in the guy at the execution where others didn't.  O, so excited about you, Jon Snow.

I have no problem with Robb thus far, and I may be disposed to like him.  He treats Jon like a friend and seems to have a good mix of fun and serious.  Anyway.

Eddard Stark is pretty awesome.  I mean, I appreciate a man in this extremely harsh-seeming culture who is as concerned as he is with justice and being sure that a person in power never forgets the seriousness of his actions and judgements.  I do, however, feel like the man probably does not laugh much.

His honor does not allow him to break the serious face.

And then they find DIREWOLF PUPPIES!  There are five puppies with their dead mother's body.  Apparently, the mother got rammed by an antler because it is snapped off in her throat.  Anyway, the men all want to kill the puppies because they will be enormous and dangerous when they grow, but Bran and Robb want to keep them.  This argument comes to a stop when Jon does something awesome.

"You have five trueborn children," Jon said.  "Three sons, two daughters.  The direwolf is the sigil of your House.  Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord."

Jon discounts himself to convince his father to keep the pups and it is not lost on anyone there.  Seriously, what a BAMF.  So, lord Stark agrees to let them keep the pups if they train them carefully.  The whole crew is leaving when Jon stops, listening to something.  He goes back to the dead direwolf and rides back to them, smiling.

"He must have crawled away from the others," Jon said.
"Or been driven away," their father said, looking at the sixth pup.

It's a little albino pup and it is the only pup with its eyes open already.  This thing so belongs to Jon.  And it is awesome.

"An albino," Theon Greyjoy said with wry amusement.  "This one will die even faster than the others."
Jon Snow gave his father's ward a long, chilling look.  "I think not, Greyjoy," he said.  "This one belongs to me."

I love Jon Snow.

Prologue

Well, hello there, instant terror.

George R. R. Martin (who is very likely about to be referred to as GRRM) does not pull his punches.  The prologue already introduces some serious what-the-hellishness.  It also instantly makes me feel slightly bad for wishing death on a character.

The prologue starts off with two riders and their "commander", a young asshole by name of Ser Waymar Royce.  They are, apparently, going out to the North, beyond the wall, to track some...wildlings.  I'm guessing some wild men?  A tribe of sorts?  Look, I don't know yet.  Anyway.  The eighteen-year-old, grew-up-rich, only-been-out-there-a-few-months commander displays some stupid bravado by ignoring the input of his fellow riders (like Gared, who is over fifty and has been on the wall for forty years, but, you know, what does he know) and mocking them. 

Now, granted, I know that in many cases it is a terrible idea to give an entitled young person any sort of authority.  It makes them feel all uppity even if they don't really know what they are doing.  Maybe that's what happened to this kid.  However, he is acting like a prick and I pretty much instantly thought "well, I hope something awful happens to him.  He would deserve it."

You knew I would think that, GRRM.  And you punished me for it.

Anyway, Will had previously found the wildlings and noticed that NONE OF THEM MOVED so, logically, assumed they were dead and did not want to approach them.  Young one ignores Gared's very eloquent description of how the cold can kill people easily up there because it sneaks up on them.  O, and he closed this little exposition on the dangers of the cold with this gem:

"I've had the cold in me too, lordling."  Gared pulled back his hood, giving Ser Waymar a good long look at the stumps where his ears had been.  "Two ears, three toes, and the little finger off my left hand.  I got off light.  We found my brother frozen at his watch, with a smile on his face."

There is no way I am finding a picture to illustrate that.  Guh.

Now, you would think a sight like that would chasten the newbie who has been ignoring everything he says.  Instead, we are treated to this reaction:

Ser Waymar shrugged.  "You ought dress more warmly, Gared."

Seriously, screw you.

So Waymar want to see the bodies himself and they go forward.  As they approach the camp, after more dickery, they find the campsite and...

the bodies are gone.

Now, I feel like this is eerie.  And freaky.  Add to that the feeling that the two seasoned rangers have had of something watching them and terrifying them the whole time, and I am decidedly nervous.  Will goes up a tree at the lordling's order and as he is up there, he hears the lord ask "Who goes there?"

"The Others made no sound."

Seriously, GRRM.  This is terrifying.  He is so damn matter-of-fact about these truly creepy things that are happening, that it makes me even more nervous about what's to come.

When the terrifying snow-warrior-thing approaches the kid, he acts like a man and tries to fight the thing.  He does ok until HIS SWORD SHATTERS.  Now, I would call that an unfair advantage for the ice-guys, but I'm guessing they don't care.  Fine.  Then he gets killed by the ice-guys.  "Butchered" is the term GRRM uses. 

Thanks for that image, GRRM.



After it's over and they are gone, Will climbs down from the tree where he witnessed this entire thing.  He walks past the kid's corpse to pick up the end of the shattered sword as proof of what happened and stands up to THE KID'S REANIMATED CORPSE STANDING OVER HIM WITH ONE BRIGHT BLUE EYE.

THIS IS A RIDICULOUSLY DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGE.

And the prologue ends with Will closing his eyes as ice-cold hands tighten around his throat.

Sleep well, kids!

So excited to keep going.

So it begins.

Ok, this first entry is just to clarify the set-up of this little experiment.

I am going to begin reading the "Game of Thrones" series by George R. R. Martin.  I suspect that this is a series deeply steeped in awesomeness (though this assessment is based purely on the first season of the show which I just finished watching).  To all those out there hating me for watching the show before reading the books, I submit two points: 1) I tried to read the books before watching the show, but my hold on it was all backed up at the library.  Sorry.  2) While some surprises may be less surprising for me, I plan on approaching the book as something entirely separate so that I can freshly determine how I feel about each of the characters as I learn about them in book-form. Very often, tv shows or movies completely change characters from a book and I will do my best to ignore their tv representations as I flesh out characters.

 

Stage Elphaba: Completely awesome

Book Elphaba:  Completely disturbing, terrifying, and horrible.

I plan on posting my reactions/summaries chapter-by-chapter.  Because I am a deeply impatient individual, some days you may get many chapters (and, therefore, many blog entries) and some days you may get none.  I would love to say I can do this every day, but between the boy and I, we only have one computer, so we will see.  How about I just promise to get entries up as soon as I can?

Also, if you leave comments (and I would love it if you do!), please do not post spoilers.  I have already spoiled myself for the first book, but I am going to do my best to assess things as they happen and ignore future events.  Once people start mentioning things that happen in later books, I will rage.  I don't even know how yet, but I will seriously rage.

Perhaps by unleashing my dead-eyed robot-fire-baby.

Please forgive me for my lack of knowledge about computer-y things.  I will do my best to make these entertaining and all, but who knows.  If this proves to be complete failure...well, who cares.  It's just a blog.

I will just end this by letting you guys know...

...I am so freaking excited.